I found a piece of paper that I had scribbled some words on back in 2004, back before I was pregnant with Ava. The words read "God never takes away except to give me something more. I must be brave enough and determined enough to wait because it often takes God time to turn a painful situation to good. I must embrace my pain and not resent it for a blessings is coming". Romans 8:28 followed, "And we know that in all things God works for those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose".

I am thankful for finding this because it reminds me of some very difficult pain. I will never forget going through four years of suffering with infertility. I will never forget the two miscarriages that I suffered through even after seeing a heartbeat. I will never forget the meds, shots, blood draws and 6 IUI's that I endured for three of these years. I will never forget the thousands of dollars and hundreds of times that I took a pregnancy test only to find that it was a negative. I will never forget the song that my husband wrote for us right after our first miscarriage. I will never forget my husband holding me like a baby when the tears consumed me so much that I could not see to walk. I will never forget wondering if God would ever bless me with a sweet child. I will never forget all the prayers, love and encouragement shown to us during these times. I will never forget my sweet nurse, Teresa, who coached me through all of our treatments.

As you can see I could go on and on. However, two things I will never forget, that is above all of the others, are the precious little girls that I have running around my house every day. They have opened my heart up so much and I love so much more now than ever before. I endured some pain but God did not fail me. God is faithful. Even when we doubt, even when we question Him, His love always prevails.

Thank you Lord for not allowing me to forget my pain. Thank you for giving me two sweet girls to remind me of how much You love me. I will never forget.